Suiteworld 2012 – Day 1.0 – Reservations

Saturday 12th of May, 2012.
Timezone: GMT
Getting picked up at 5am on any day of the week is pretty unsightly, never more so than if you know that ahead of you lies a three hour drive followed by the joy of Heathrow Airport Terminal Three departures and whatever Russian roulette the check-in staff for Virgin Atlantic Airways want to play with your seating arrangements for the next 14 hours so you can attend SuiteWorld 2012, this year being held in San Francisco, CA. We had checked in 24 hours previously, of course, but even so we were unable to reserve our seats. Ian had arrived at the standard “Irwin Time” and we made good progress to arrive on schedule to park the hairdryer in our chosen car park.
I was not hopeful that we would get either a decent seat, nor an area separated from the torture that is a child on a long-haul flight. Seriously, why put an infant through that? It’s bad enough controlling yourself as an adult whilst feeling elated at being only slightly more comfortable than an as-yet-not-prepared 2 tonne steak on the way to slaughter; I can remember how much I used to hate flying as a kid (and those were the ‘cool’ days when you could still ask to go and sit in the cockpit!) so it was with some trepidation that we steeled ourselves to check our baggage and receive our sentence.
“Do you have any seating preference gentlemen?” May be the look of terror on my face as I scoped out the fact that this flight was sponsored by the Sardine manufacturers alliance made me look in need of being blessed because this was surely my moment. “Anywhere that we can avoid a pterodactyl sound track, please.” and someone who was instantly catapulted to being my favourite person of that day made arrangements for us to sit in economy on the top deck.
Seats H & K 73, you are my saviour.
I withheld the temptation to make a quip about how those were the initials of the sub-machine guns being touted by the friendly looking armed police (I’m certain that British Bobbies are the only people in the world that can look friendly whilst carrying one of those things) as that’s just not the done thing in, well, anywhere that they’re carrying them really. We thanked the seat gods and set off to find security.

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